Ritual for Remorse After An Abortion
In this day and age of pro-choice...which by the way, I am adamantly pro-choice....we have driven home the thought that women should not feel guilty...it is their body, etc, etc. Unfortunately, an abortion is something to feel remorse over and there are no rituals (Christian or Pagan) to release that remorse. And I do see a difference in remorse and guilt. Guilt is feeling as if you should never have done something. Remorse is feeling regret for doing something that had to be done. I have never been put in the situation of having to make a choice. Hopefully I never will be.....but, if I were to have to terminate a pregnancy,I would light a candle for the spirit of my child.

A Release Ritual

(this is in a Wiccan format, change as necessary)
  • 2 Candles, 1 white and 1 red
  • 3 flowers (number reflects # abortions or losses)
  • 3 pieces of rose quartz
  • incense
  • vinegar
  • honey
Decorate the altar with the above....add anything that is important to you. Light incense and candles. Acknowledge the presence of the Lord and the Lady. **Note....this is not a formal circle so there is no casting involved. If you wish, then you can cast a formal circle.**

Name the three flowers names you might have named your children. Speak to them with love and honesty. Your reasons for terminating them were right for you and for them! Take a piece of rose quartz and give it to the first child (flower). Tell the child that this piece of rose quartz will always represent them to you and that they are now free to go into the Summerland and be reborn. Repeat this with each.

Take some time to meditate on the spirits moving on and then let yourself grieve for what might have been.  You might wish to read a poem that speaks to you or a piece of liturgy that moves you.

Every twinge of sorrow, twined with memories of joy. Every helpless sadness crossed with hope from life's sweet store. Each one unremitting - demanding its fair share, of stock from life worth living, filled with wrenching joys and care. 

All these things are parceled out in ways quite hard to bear, though time moves on and sorrow fades with joy that seems too rare. Each moment is a treasure, in its own and singular way, whether happiness full of pleasure or sorrow reft with pain.

Peace like a mountain, Lady. ~Songbird

Now rejoice for what has been and what will be! 

Keep the three pieces of rose quartz somewhere safe. Place the flowers outside (or let them float away on a body of water).

Remorse is a natural part of living....we all have things to be remorseful over. Acknowledgement and release are important if we are to continue forward and not get caught up in a whirlpool of bad feelings.

Blow out the candles, thanking the Lord and the Lady for attending your rite.

Written Song Bird (CO) for me when my stepfather crossed over. Your friend might find some peace in them...I did.

This ritual was used with my full permission and gratitude in Dorothy Morrison's _Everyday Magic_, 1998, Llewelyn Publishers. Thanks, Kalioppe, it is great!

... Birth, life, death. Repeat as necessary.
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