You do not think that it is impossible for a man to experience the Mystery of giving birth? That it is impossible for a woman to experience the Mystery of seed pouring out of you? These are gender-based Mysteries. With one's gender comes a special set of things we can each do.  Do you have a penis? Do you have ovaries? You either have one or the other unless you are a special case and then I think that is altogether another  Mystery.

I can bleed and not die. The ability to bleed and not die is one of the things that apparently astounded our ancestors. I can not produce seed no matter what I do. I make eggs. That is what my gender does.  It is a Mystery. It really is. No matter how much science explains it to me it will always be a mystery with a capital M. Mystery is the operative word. I know the medical facts, but there is still a Mystery to me there.

The penis filling with blood and stiffening is a Mystery.  The idea that seed is there in the scrotum is a Mystery. It seems dangerous to me to not acknowledge that there are gender-based Mysteries. I am not and have never said that we shouldn't seek out our own balances. That is part of being Wiccan to me. What fascinates me are those Mysteries that I will not be able to experience. Am I jealous? No....just curious.

I am saying that Gender-Based Mysteries simply are.  We can no more make them go away than we can cause the moon to move backwards.  I think by acknowledging the gender-based Mysteries, we can come closer to being a whole person/community. If I understand that there are things that make men different, then I can move past (perhaps) some of the things that drive me wild. I do not say study your gender Mystery so you can see how different you are...I say study it so you can see what the differences are, celebrate them with enthusiasm, and move forward and into the whole being.

What are the other Male Mysteries? I would say the transformation the body goes through at puberty is one for both. Why do we have rituals of passage if not to celebrate the Mysteries of life? (Ah Sweet Mystery of Life....grin..if you know what song that quote is from, raise your hand!) I have written a Coming of Age for a Young Woman and need,for my 3rd work, to write several other rituals, one of which is a Coming of Age for a Young Man. I balk at the writing of it because I have no experience there.

As to challenging each individual to explore themselves thoroughly, I think that I do. But, I can not explore a Male Mystery within myself. Unless I was a hermaphrodite, which I am not, or a transsexual, which I am not, I would have no basis for learning these things.

There are Mysteries which are not gender-based. Mysteries which we all go through in our life cycle. These Mysteries need to be experienced **AS** Mysteries to be known as Mysteries. I know that is convoluted, but it is hard to get at any other way!

I am saying is that the gender-based Mysteries can only be experienced by one if they are of that gender. It is that the gender-based mysteries are gender-based. A woman can not "get" a man's mystery.

Are the Mysteries "just" something to be experienced? Not for me, not at all!To realize that they are Mysteries is part of their own beauty. If you have had children....was there not a beauty there? Were you not in awe of the fact that you and your partner could create life?

I think that there are primary Mysteries...some of these being Birth,Death, Union ....all of these will be experienced by each of us. We have all experienced Birth. Smile..and some of us experience a Re-Birth at another time in our lives. Death will be the final Mystery.

I would never be able to reveal the Mysteries. That is impossible. Those of you who have experienced any of these Mysteries...just try to talk about it to someone who has not been there. It can't be done. You end up sounded like a radical or a fool or both!

You can not expose a Mystery. It simply is not possible. The fact that it is a Mystery is part of the Mystery. Sigh..I am talking in circles now and fear that I will never be able to relate what it is I am saying.

Experiencing a Mystery is not about achieving the same results as the person next to you. It is about experiencing yourSelf in ways you never knew before.

I may be expressing myself very poorly in this. I am not talking about our being male/female yin/yang. I am talking about those Mysteries that can only be experienced by someone because of their gender. Period. The fact that we are all parts of each other is a Mystery in and of itself and a very beautiful one, too. But that is not what I am talking about.

"Understand in fullness" Stormwatcher

Understand in fullness...you do have a way with words. I can accept and cherish and *ahem* ENJOY the Seed Delivery thing but I can not understand it in fullness. Thank you.

I do not think that exploring the gender-based Mysteries negates the fact that we must see ourselves in whole ways that incorporate what *society* (Here I am speaking of American society because I have no experience with others.) teaches us are male things and female things. That is not a mystery ...that is something that needs to be unlearned if not just *not* taught at all. And leads me to ask...what is male and what is female?

Here is a list of attributes:
nurturer
warrior
mother
father
parent
silly
serious
passive
active
emotional
stoic
strong
weak
courageous
fearful
passionate
cold as ice

Which of these are soley male and which are solely female?

Right.

That our society says certain things are male and certain things are female is a flaw to me. Certainly there are people who are better at nurturing than others..that is their gift...their strength. Is is more a girl thing than a boy thing? I don't think so. I think in today's society it may be simply because many of were raised on the "Girls like Barbie" and "Boys like G.I.Joe" theory. That is environment, not nature.

I don't think it is about what we attribute to each gender. I am talking about those things that are Male or Female Mysteries because the other gender can not do them or recreate them.

I would love to hear other thoughts on this if anyone feels like tackling it. It is a topic that is hard to discuss. It can be like looking at something through a glass of water...you get refracted away from the actual issue by the light of something else.

Do not reproduce this in any format without first obtaining permission from me. I thank you for this consideration. Stealing is a bad thing.
by my hand
Arwen Nightstar, (c)1998